Friday, December 30, 2005

Year end advertising

The year ends. No, that by itself is not anything new... in fact it is a regular annual event. It is what the year takes along and what it leaves behind that is interesting. This year has been extraordinary. Truly fantastic I should say. Let me tell you how.

It actually started last year with this, and then it was in January when I was high on adrenaline. It felt so good to be reaching for the stars. It is such a tremendous high to try and clear that extra high bar. I sure had the gall to try the jump and I floated all through the month, because I was up somewhere midway my jump and was super happy to have left the ground.

February is my month. A month of kindness and love and many first meetings. It passed without causing any major upheavals, as did perhaps March. Except I got a little closer to that bar all the time.

Bang! Crash! It came in April for the first time. The fall. It hurt pretty bad. It was as if I had reached the bar, and somebody pushed me back down. I skinned my knees and broke a few bones perhaps. Rejections are never easy to digest and I got a very big one - one that was rude and made me feel so puny in the grand scheme of things that it almost killed of my sense of self worth. It was only because I had a wonderful circle of people around to hoist me up that I kept standing. Hats off to all of you. April was also the month when I started yearning for someone. This was also the month when I posted my first short story.

If the first fall was hard, the second one, in May, was crippling. But I survived. Though I am not quite sure how. And while the world went mad around me, I wanted so desperately to reach out and be held in a warm embrace. And then my home started going apart in pieces, with my help of course. I also talked on phone with a completely unknown and completely out of this world person for the first time ever

Oh, how can I forget June. It was the month when I lost my sweetheart. I landed up in a new home, right across the city. And I also got my prized pair of khaki corduroys. I look almost "desirable" in them. Ahem!

I moved out of home, into the hostel, in July. I am changed man because of this decision. Earlier I could only eat. Now I can eat anything! I love this story that I wrote. I got the idea in the middle of a phone call. A very important question raised its head in my head (kind of complicated, really!), for the first time. I also remember losing control of how I felt and survived for the longest time ever on a ten rupee note.

August is sort of super special. I met my first ever blogger, and earned a good friend in turn. I realized that I had an uncanny ability to talk a lot. Most surprising! My talks with myself found a reflection in my posts and prevented my sanity from filing for divorce. I decided to walk a certain path, knowing very well that a fall is imminent again. Where did I get so much courage? I never knew I could feel like this.

Why did I write this? Yet it popped up so clearly in my head, that it had to be written. If I auctioned of how every feeling I felt right then and every one was sold for a million, I would still be a pauper. As I battled on one front, another rejection creeped up on me and voila, it's a hatrick of nays at work. I have still not told mum n dad about this one. I think I never will. This one caused me a lot of tension and stress. I was wondering how I got the courage last month, and now I retreated. Somehow, this was harder.

I came close to giving up the blog, and then something mended itself inside, though at what cost. I wrote my first post in Bangla. I never thought I would be able to do justice to the language, but I might attempt another post someday soon. And then the world exploded, and the fire singed me.

In November I finally saw Parineeta. But all I remember about November is work and more work. Amidst all that work I had to explain my actions and words to people I care about. I lost my temper. I think I have found it back again.

I completed something really, really, really big in December. It has required so much of dreaming, love, madness, inspiration and elbow grease to finish this, I still cannot fathom that it is done. I am eternally indebted to the people who helped me on the way. Whew! I met another charming blogger this month. And now as the years ends, life has come full circle. I am ready to fly again.

Will you join me?



In Remembrance

Last year saw the world go through a spate of disasters. Many people lost loved ones and many lives were torn apart. Though I have not really done anything to help these people, I do admire those who have lent a helping hand. Let us not forget these brave people who had the courage to fight the real battle, and let us all help in our own little ways.

6 comments:

  1. And a happy new year to you too. The 'most well summed up new year' award goes to you :-)

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  2. wow! that was quite a year huh? all the best for the next one!

    *hugs* Happy New Year!

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  3. Happy New Year buddy!

    Keep soaring! :)

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  4. wish u a wonderful year '06...n as mirage said,keep soaring...

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  5. @evenstar: :D

    @sonia: *hugs* and Happy New Year!

    @mirage: A very happy new year to you too!

    @chipmunk: May you have a wonderful year.

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  6. Fantastic post. I'm so happy to have found you again on the net.
    Belated Happy New Year 2006. WIshing you the best! ~~~~~~~O ~~~~~~~~O ~~~~~~~O (Those are internet balloon that won't pop.) I noticed I found you in your favorite month. :)

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