Monday, December 12, 2005

Have some why

Why do I feel restless?
Why do I feel this is going to snap a few neurons?
Why do I feel hysterical?

Why do I need to get an approval from everybody?
Why do I need to get an approval from anybody?

Why do I fumble at the simplest of questions?
Why do I fumble only when someone really asks them out loud?

Why do I feel singled out in a crowded room?
Why should it bother me that everybody is laughing?
Why do I smile as I type in this question?

Why did I spend the whole two hours behaving like a giggly teenager?
Why do I rebuke myself for just having fun?
Why do I have to measure up each time?

Why does it matter if I do not do what is expected?
Why do so many people expect anything at all from me?

Why is it so fascinating to think of running away?
Why is the thought of actually doing it so scary?

Why do I have to explain myself to everybody?
Why do I care if anybody gets me wrong?

Why does everybody have to see my point of view?
Why do I always see their point of view first?

Why is it so important to be nice?
Why is it so nice to be important?
Why being neither doesn't matter at all?

Why do I have to love anybody or anything?
Why do I like what I do?
Why do I do it better than a whole lot of other people?
Why do I bother if I do not?

Why is it essential to be original?
Why is it imperative to be creative?
Why being a snob is inevitable?

Why is it that I think I end up being condescending?
Why does it matter if I do?
Why can I not be rude?
Why is it pleasurable to be nasty?

Why do I have to have an opinion?
Why do I need to know politics from erotica?
Why do I have to say anything of interest to anybody?

Why is it always I before anybody else?
Why should it be anybody else before I?

Why is it so easy to be defensive?
Why is it so difficult to attack?
Why is it even harder to restrain my rage?

Why do I stand ignorance?
Why am I ignorant of all stands?

Why do I try to write, even though I am no writer?
Why is it easier, than to just think all the time?

Why is it that I love to eat?
Why is it great that I can eat what I cook?
Why is it even better when a friend can beat me at it?

Why does it feel good to show off?
Why is nobody watching what I want to show?
Why do I want to show anything?
Why do I want to see what other's are showing?

Why is there always a now and a then?
Why is there always a she?
Why is it that I am always temporally misaligned?

Why are there no links to other blogs on my blog?
Why do I read them?
Why do people comment on my ramblings?
Why do I want them to comment?

Why is this a personal blog?
Why does it not talk about something important to society?
Why should anything be more important to me, than my life?
Why am I labeled separately from the crowd?

Why does chaos make sense?
Why can a fixed point iteration converge?
Why does fever manifest on a paintbrush?
Why is a fugue fascinating to a bear?

Why can I ask all this?
Why is there no end to questions?
Why does this feel liberating?
Why is this post so long?



  1. you'll find an answer to some, you'll then have more questions... it goes on. that's life. we'll all find out in the end i guess. or maybe we won't. why do we care?

  2. WHy am i so friggin tired right no!!!!

  3. wow...teenage angst. typical for teh age. not to worry.

  4. "He who has a why can endure any how"- Friedrich Nietzsche

    Take care :)

  5. hmm i cant possibly answer those questions...i thnk i agree wid rapunzel here-typical for de age i guess coz i myself hav been thro' most of wat u say...

  6. @sonia: Precisely .. why?

    @grafx: Because you have been..... (guess! guess!)

    @rapz: Kinda late for teenage angst no? But then perhaps my hormones are still stuck in the 19th century!

    @mirage : Oh I have whys by the tonnes! :)

    @chipmunk: Consider what you said - that its typical for the age, and you've been through most of it - exactly how old does that make me.... 13? Wow! :D

  7. wat in the name of god made u think I'm 13 years old?...and for the retort,I meant to say that I've been thro' most of it coz I probably mus' be around three fourths of ur age and so in the years 2 come all those emotions may hit me as well...get it now or do i need to elaborate?

  8. @chipmunk: Lol! Arre I was talking about me being 13, not you! Anyways, you have got your point across so no need to elaborate any more.

  9. ok i cant guess anymore.. but i WAS tired after reading your endless whys..

    eeesh tomar record EESHTAAAK hoey gachey

  10. What to do! There are still a host of hows and whats left. EESHSTAAK record is going round and round and round at the same place :D