Sunday, July 29, 2007


How much more starving will it take to kill it. Does it even need food? It must. It has to. Has to? There is no `has to.' Maybe I can choke it to death... What am I talking about! Is it so easy to fall apart? Like a proverbial pack of cards. Go up in flames and burn everything inside. I can see my self scattered all around ... in tiny shreds. Legs that don't want to walk. Eyes that don't want to see. There is no escape from this. I must drown in my own silence till every bit of life has oozed out and become one with it. Then at least I won't cry that the tears do not flow anymore. Then what will I do? Exist. That is doing enough for now.

From beyond

Raise me from
the dead of sleep,
From the silent mort
over which you weep.

Command me, to breathe in
hungry gasps of noisome you;
Tie me up in servitude, alive,
willing ally in the perverse coup.

Omit mercy. Wipe it out.
Whip me up in writhing pain;
In infernal desire, make me live,
just make me love again.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Today, forever...

The dry yellow grass swayed gently to the moist winds passing by. Golden ripples spread beneath a naked azure sky. So starkly naked that the proud sequoias had to look down out of modesty. Walking through the field he felt like a stone flung in the middle of a river. Skipping and skidding on a sheet of solid water, till reality engulfed it into her liquid arms.

He tried to refrain from the `Why me's' The question mocked him, and his promise of not crying anymore.

`How can I be confined amidst such beauty. How can I be so poor in my dreams.' He said these out loud to the winding dirt road. Perhaps down the way it may meet the answers. Yet, they were not questions. The questions, he could not ask.

`Where is she now?' Now this; was worth a thought. Some kind of thought, at least. He knew where she was.


The world makes sense today. Almost. More so than yesterday. Perhaps it is because I am wearing orange. I will tell him when I meet him. Today is a better today than the last today.


The white building seemed antiseptic, sitting in solitary pride, surrounded by the vast meadow of green. Three hours away from civilization. `Why do I have to walk here every time? If only I had listened to her and earned enough for a car.'

He stopped at the huge black iron gate. The speakerphone on the wall buzzed and the iron behemoth slid open.

`Listen to her? I am going to try harder today.'


`You know, you know, today was better yesterday. Because I was wearing orange. I am wearing orange today too. We always wear orange here. Is it the fifteenth? I am getting married on the fifteenth! I have to wear white then. Do whites make better todays than oranges?'

He turned his face away and uttered an unsure, `yes.'


He took the usual diversion on his way back. On the sun kissed eastern slope, where the heavenly lake met the earth down below, stood the stoically mute cathedral. It had no reason to be otherwise. The massive grey stones hewn to make an ornament for prayer may have afforded others a more vocal welcome. But to him it was a bloody battleground of memories. Battlegrounds never welcome warriors. They weep for them.

If only such gallantry begot death, he would have stayed. `But I cannot stay. I have to go and prepare for today to come again. Tomorrow.'

Monday, July 16, 2007

Life: A bedside view

"Is there any limit to the amount of creepiness you allow yourself?"

"No.. of course not. Otherwise how do you think I can get under your skin with such precision."

"Eeew... that is not flattering at all, you know!"

"My dear ... if you were bothered about my not being flattering, do you think my finger would be trying to undo these hooks right now."


Life melts away like a dollop of ice-cream and we lick it as fast as we can. It is messy. It drips. Runs down the side of our cheeks. It, inevitably, falls and stains our shirt. Okay! Okay! My shirt. But seriously, do you want to tell me there is a better way to eat ice-cream?


"Don't you go there! Not yet... why can't a man ever take it slow!"

"Can you blame a man for wanting to live for a few seconds?"

"Can you be any less cheesy."

"Will that make this feel any different... this..."


Life crumbles in our mouths like a bite of dark chocolate. Teasing reactions from our senses with every slowly peeled off layer of bitterness. Building to a reverberating crescendo of overpoweringly smooth desire. And then the chocolate disappears on our tongue. Life? What about it? Go have some chocolate!


"Where did you learn language like that! Do you realize I am a lady?"

"Right now... you are my gateway to heaven!"

"You are shameless!"

"You took so long to arrive to that conclusion."


Life is like delicate, lace lingerie. Sensuous caresses of intimate care reminding one that life requires one to go slow at times. To take the time to uncover hidden mysteries that life has to offer. To be gentle when handling beauty. And let life decide when it wants to move on and where it wants to go.


"There! Thirty thirty-second philosophies of life in ten nights! Was that hard or was that hard."

"That hard, was it?"

"Shouldn't you be knowing? Book editors are supposed to know their authors inside out."

"There is still a lot of work required on the outside before the book launch next month. And it's about time that I get around to doing that. Bientôt.. au revoir!"

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Enchanted Strands

Quivering fingers touch
an apparition;
Of pure enchantment
and blinding black.

Rustling wind murmurs,
encouragement to
delve, into waves
of tingling delight.

Transient sheet parts
into strands;
at the hesitant behest
of restless waiting.

Chaotic velvet engulfs,
ensemble all,
in an envelope
of teasing compassion.

Intoxicated mass crumbles;
saturated with
spells, molded in caresses
of braided allure.

Exhausted heart yearns
in quiescence,
drowned in the silken quilt,
for an eternal now.