Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Realms and Beings

A room with walls of air.

Set apart from reality by my life.

Nailed to fantasy by these words.

I know you can hear it once again.
That familiar scratching of pen on paper.
Why do you look at me so? You cannot see it. I know you can't.

You look through me. Why? See here... See this!

Wings! A bus passes by. A crowd dwindles. A phone vibrates. With those eyes, my bonny lad, you'll never see anything.

Cliques of coincidence.

A presence haunts. Mute. Always mute. Say it... Why don't you say it!
Is this your defiance? Or your surrender.

Doesn't the deafening silence hurt you yet? Embrace me once again. Tear me down.

Click! A second of eternity. Vitrified exuberance. Distilled charm. Don't you know it is bad manners to stare. Worse still to stare back.

Synaptic rites of passion.

A touch! Did you... An encore of nays. Please. Abuse my senses again.

Why are you so distant tonight? Why are you letting go. Disappear this instant!

Red! Damned flows. Lakes of conscience. Unchained lust. What business of mine is the future?

Engage in life.

I cannot help it. Smiling. Fascinating, isn't it? I know you see it. You can.

Stay. Just this once. Other castles can wait. My room cannot.

Sunday, October 08, 2006


In my eyes,
Another's eye, through and through,
As I, melt slowly without any ado,
How do I see past?

In my hands,
Sheer magic takes shape,
As I continue to gape,
How do I control this?

In my mind,
Incandescent dreams light up,
As I fall behind the gallop,
How do I keep pace?

In my touch,
Tingles of ecstasy abound,
As I, deafened with roaring sound,
How do I numb my senses?

In my heart,
An otherworldly alien peace,
As I, hooked to the enchanted tease,
How do I listen inside?

In my life,
So much talk, of now and then,
A guillotine of an unanswered when,
How do I bide my time?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Days of frenzy

Sard sard saansen aaj tujhe kuch keh rahi, suno zara
Dheemey dheemey, dheerey dheerey dhadkane badh rahi, ab kare to kya

Dabe dabe, ruke ruke kadmo se aa raha, koi nasha
Zara zara, thama thama seene main hai pal raha, ek dard saa.

Jaane, yeh hamen, kya hone lagaa.
Jaane, yeh hamen, kya hone lagaa.

Kya pata.

It's so hard to write right now. Not because I have any dearth of things to write about. Neither because I cannot find the words to write it down. But because my mind is not staying still. It is somewhere else, lost in streets of comic passion where I cannot tread because I am uncertain of what lies ahead.

The past week was grand! It was this mad, mad mix of delicious food, cousin brothers and sisters, and grandma, everything pujo, the telegraph, enmeshed with flavours of shared silences. It was fast and slow at the same time. Time playing truant, with nothing to do all day except laze around like the kittens which sprawl over my cousin's bed, slipping through my fingers like the touch of satin soft skin. Cats are majestic and seductive at the same time - is that what one calls "feline?" Species of fish which tempt the gastronomic gods to play havoc inside my stomach, and sweets which silently add to my abundant layers of flab.

The Ganges on a moonlit night which flows slow and wide, with tiny fishing boats riding it with aplomb and abandon. Rain! Drizzling, slow, rippling down in caressing rivulets on my parched dry skin. Wild, unchained, washing me in wanton passionate wet fire poured from above. Rain. Rain falling on water - the river, the sea; on land - the field, the road. It's like making love with something that is everywhere at the same time, all at once, outside and inside.

Dune. A book which filled my days with fantasy lands of spice deserts and enigmas. Hints of longing. Places I've known in childhood. An earlier life? Somebody stays here. I do not remember. I do not want to remember. I forget. I do not want to forget. A language which flows with the life of elegant poetry and decorated prose.

Trains. Filled with masses of humanity, moving across in paused hurry. Brownian motion along straight lines. Stations. Goodbyes. Tears. New lands? Leaving behind... finding anew. Be back soon. So much changes when I turn around. A world dies. And another lives again. It'll never be exactly the same again. Isn't that sad? Am I scared.

Questions? Home, far away from home. Alone. So alone. Just me, between endless sky and limitless green. Hold me. Cuddle me. Envelope me. Engulf me. Smother me. Suffocate me.

On return, another journey awaits. To more distant, more alien lands. Stay with me, silent and together. Stay with me. Stay.

For the curious, the song is from the movie Bas Ek Pal.