Thursday, May 18, 2006

Of talking and keeping quiet

I have so many things in my head right now! Let's see if I can get them out one by one and connect them using some illusory coherence-glue.

The first thought is about talking. Yeah, just talking. Walking around aimlessly exchanging the secrets of life with someone who just like to talk is a luxury I do not get to indulge in often. This is primarily because people who can bear to hear me speak at length are not easy to find. Recently, I have discovered that if I try, I can talk about things which are difficult to talk about. Oh and this means talk - as in open my mouth and utter the words - chatting on the net doesn't count, neither does blogging about it. I am quite capable of talking about feelings (did someone faint already?) like hurt and anger and love with people I've instinctively learnt to trust. I have only a handful of such people, but I am glad I have them. There is a price attached to this though. It automatically raises my expectations about my sparring partner. It's like since I can do this, so can the other person. When the other person does not talk as freely it causes unnecessary confusion in my already confused head. Ah! But as I have discovered this is where listening comes in. If someone says they don't want to talk about something, they don't. I did, because I wanted to. Well, I do not know if this line of reasoning is going to work or not, but it sure helps me stay less disturbed with the scheme of things.

The next line of ideas is about expectations one is allowed to have of people. I often get carried away and think the world of people. By that I mean worry about them, and think about things they said or feel. Obviously, these are not random people, they are friends. And then they just disappear from my radar for days, without informing what happened. It's like suddenly I do not exist. Of course the normal reasons for such things are that other person was busy, got engaged over the weekend, got fired, got chicken-pox and other such trivialities. It was only foolish me with nothing to do in the world who was sitting under the stars and thinking about them. It makes me really mad! I am still trying to figure out a way of not having these expectations of people and it seems the Buddha was right when he said that desire is the cause of all misery. So its simple really, I just have to get rid of desire. Right! Now when do I get to go the moon?

The third is about proper conduct during an argument. If you are arguing with me then argue fair and square. Just saying I know and you do not, or that you are ignorant, does not do it. Argue, even fight if you must and have the courage to hear things from another point of view and be open enough to admit a possibility of error. I give you that chance and I expect it in return. Otherwise, do not waste my time. I do not want to waste my breath arguing with fanatics, or with people in love. If you can out-think me, answer my every doubt on the subject, then, and only then, you'll have gained your convert.

The last one is a question which I was sort of asked. "Are you a metro-sexual man?" My answer: Duh?!?


Padme: So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.


  1. well about the part about how to go about arguments...maybe people want you to do the same thing.

  2. Not maybe - I'd say, `certainly' they should.
    But then they don't stick around to say so, they run away or make excuses or punch me on the nose. I am always (well, almost always) ready to be proven wrong, if one can get their arguments into my thick skull !

  3. lol....yes.. you do have a thick skull...but then again...the problem is.. once a person has had the taste of understanding something only when its proven....its hard for him to think otherwise.

  4. @grafx: Ah, well! To each his/her own poison I guess. It is hard to think otherwise as it is - from what one is used to thinking - don't blame it on proof / logic / whatever else. It's just how our tiny lil brains work.

  5. no..its not really hard :)...ifits thinking out of habit then yes. you have to dig deep into everything you beleive in and everything people tell you is truth...sometimes.. the truth is abit hard to take.

    and my brain is anything but tiny ;)

  6. I'll take the "dig deep into everything I believe in" bit - but beleiving that everything everybody says is true is stretching it too far. Truth as I see it not the truth as you see it - but then for you perhaps what I see is no truth at all. and yes... even after all this my brain is tiny - it has a long way to go before it even starts resembling what it is capable of becoming.

  7. this is a wonderful post on a great blog - came over from cactus. :)

  8. You knw that last ques was in my entrance exam today...define a metrosexual man! i wish i cudve given the same answer!! :P

  9. Ha Ha - a lot of friends have the same reaction over that Metrosexual question! But wow- you'v instilled a lot of order and logic into stuff thats usually just a mad jumble in my brain!

  10. the indigo background with white text hurts my eyes. it's a distraction to your ideas. does it not hurt your eyes?

  11. @prerona: Hello and welcome! Nice to have you stroll in for a visit :) Keep visiting.

    @mirage: There may come a time when you might realize that you could have given that answer too and it would have not made any difference!! :D

    @essar: lollz! Order n logic eh? It's all an allusion to the illusion of order in my life. ;o)

    @anon: People with better visual taste than me have been telling me so - but I just can't get my lazy bones to move, in order to change it. btw it doesn't hurt my eye, and it sorta mirrored my head sometime in the recent past. But some day soon...

  12. Hey sweetie,
    You know I love your blog.
    I've enjoyed your sensitivity from the start of discovering you via GG (Grafx). I remember marveling at the dichomotomy of reading the words of a brilliant man on "left-brained" topics and then also being blown away by the beauty of other thoughts far from the mathematical.

    I found some solace, too, in reading your blog, because I'm an artsy-science person or science/artsy person although I usually don't write in blogland on math, science, and a myriad of intense cerebral topics I could write on.

    BTW, the artist part of me has been wanting to tell you what "anon" did. Please, change your colour scheme. This assaults my eyes in pain. I'm blinking and fighting a headache trying to read it. Also, I cannot enlarge the font via my browser like I used to be able to. I use a desktop screen that is far away. This font is too small.

    I adore your site and realize it's your choce about colour schemes. I cannot take the time to print out and comment later.