Of talking and keeping quiet

I have so many things in my head right now! Let's see if I can get them out one by one and connect them using some illusory coherence-glue.

The first thought is about talking. Yeah, just talking. Walking around aimlessly exchanging the secrets of life with someone who just like to talk is a luxury I do not get to indulge in often. This is primarily because people who can bear to hear me speak at length are not easy to find. Recently, I have discovered that if I try, I can talk about things which are difficult to talk about. Oh and this means talk - as in open my mouth and utter the words - chatting on the net doesn't count, neither does blogging about it. I am quite capable of talking about feelings (did someone faint already?) like hurt and anger and love with people I've instinctively learnt to trust. I have only a handful of such people, but I am glad I have them. There is a price attached to this though. It automatically raises my expectations about my sparring partner. It's like since I can do this, so can the other person. When the other person does not talk as freely it causes unnecessary confusion in my already confused head. Ah! But as I have discovered this is where listening comes in. If someone says they don't want to talk about something, they don't. I did, because I wanted to. Well, I do not know if this line of reasoning is going to work or not, but it sure helps me stay less disturbed with the scheme of things.

The next line of ideas is about expectations one is allowed to have of people. I often get carried away and think the world of people. By that I mean worry about them, and think about things they said or feel. Obviously, these are not random people, they are friends. And then they just disappear from my radar for days, without informing what happened. It's like suddenly I do not exist. Of course the normal reasons for such things are that other person was busy, got engaged over the weekend, got fired, got chicken-pox and other such trivialities. It was only foolish me with nothing to do in the world who was sitting under the stars and thinking about them. It makes me really mad! I am still trying to figure out a way of not having these expectations of people and it seems the Buddha was right when he said that desire is the cause of all misery. So its simple really, I just have to get rid of desire. Right! Now when do I get to go the moon?

The third is about proper conduct during an argument. If you are arguing with me then argue fair and square. Just saying I know and you do not, or that you are ignorant, does not do it. Argue, even fight if you must and have the courage to hear things from another point of view and be open enough to admit a possibility of error. I give you that chance and I expect it in return. Otherwise, do not waste my time. I do not want to waste my breath arguing with fanatics, or with people in love. If you can out-think me, answer my every doubt on the subject, then, and only then, you'll have gained your convert.

The last one is a question which I was sort of asked. "Are you a metro-sexual man?" My answer: Duh?!?


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Padme: So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.