Monday, November 28, 2011


"We regret to inform you... "

Regret! That's my hateful word of the day - of this year. Of my entire life at the moment. How I hate that word.

I feel like smashing something right now. I'd have smashed my life if it was not already smashed.

God. I feel like he is laughing at me from somewhere. Look how puny you are. And look what a mess your life is. Ha ha.

It is surprising. Even after all these years, the word still deguts me every time I read it. And there they lie - all raw and bloody in front of my eyes as if nothing will make me whole again. Still one breathes.

Which is a darn miracle - what would it take to stop breathing, I wonder. Certainly more than tonne of regret...

1 comment:

  1. May God one day make you whole again. I know He will if you turn to Him. In Heaven, whether or not on Earth, but hopefully on Earth as well.

    In the past month, I've lost (to death) 5 friends of friends, and one cat. The cat is the only one I had met, and he was mine back in High School. Loss is such deep sorrow, and everybody needs a friend. Perhaps you can find one who needs you even more... visit a nursing home today.

    We all feel, in our deepest being, the same as we always have and will. This is true regardless of age. It is only by others that we are perceived differently.