Bit Bye Bit

I have been so afraid to write. So, so afraid. Terrified.

Madness has its own way. Crooked, ruthless, razor sharp but a way
none-the-less. Acrid, insatiable, ravenous it spreads inside. I have
been unable to stop it from spreading. I can feel my veins harden at
its icy touch.

Love is private,
Privately leaking,
into overflowing storm drains
of
drowning Mumbai nights.

Bit by bit,
by bit,
bye,
bits,
it crumbles,
much to the delight of the red ants on the floor.

There is a cry,
ringing
in my bones, a fossil
perhaps
or a fungus bound
to my soul.

Terrified.
I am supposed to be
so many things.
Mortified.
I am not
even
me.

Elaborate manifolds
Middling minds.
Anger Pain Betrayal
Useless.
Smother with a smile,
suffocate with elan,
A secret plan,

Naino ke aangan se nikalkar
baarish mai chup jaana
bheegna,
beh jaana.
Raat ki kaali baha le jaana,
Roothi kahani mana le jaana,
Ek do chapati bana de jaana,
Bhooke na rehna,
Khaana.
Aur sirhane pe jo yaad padhi hai,
use nehlaana.
Naino ke aangan se nikalkar
baarish mai chup jaana.

Confiscating reality,
tempting, trouncing,
teleporting to insignificance.
Matter not, when here now,
me, my love,
but mostly, sadly, still
me.

--------------------

On a completely different note:
A few drops of rain... has completed five years. Five completely, unbelievable years. To everyone and anyone who has read this blog during that time, a big Thank You! I hope you all will continue being my audience in the future.